Wuh huh huh….absolute chills I tell you!  It’s starting to look really good, and the whole pallete of the movie is completely faded now…Ooh and Sirius Black, yee heehee HEE 

I am not a loser!

 

For the longest time I can’t help but feel like one.  You know how in the movies the main character, always has this sense of purpose in life?  How everything they do revolves around it.  How they are defined by this purpose.

 

And then there are the other movies…where the main character doesn’t know what he/she wants out of life.   How they drift aimlessly from here to there, working odd jobs, living a less than stable life…how they are basically losers!  And you know…I can’t help but feel like that sometimes.  But life really isn’t that simple. And I know that you guys feel that too.  It’s not like we all have that passion that we are just so naturally gifted at, that it guides & directs the rest of our lives, that we do it in-between every meal, bathroom break and slumber. 

 

So I still haven’t found that one thing that defines me (and personally, I don’t think I want to) but I do think I’ve found something thing that I really do want to define me.  It’s not in what I want in a career but what I want to do in my spare time (no, not video games).

 

You hear so much about random acts of vandalism and violence.  These things are usually done in secrecy, under the cover of night, and what I want to do is done in the same manner and time of night too—BUT they’ll be for good.  Like presents left on an orphanage front step—without any note or explanation.  Or maybe to have a bum to wake up to find clothing and food lying besides him.  To combat and fight all the evil out in the world with pure unreciprocated goodness. Gosh, I can feel it now…like it’s some sort of mission that just totally energizes me. And it totally excites me more than the prospects of any good ol’ 9-to-5. 

 

And you know, this vow to do good, doesn’t even have to be anything ultra altruistic.  It could just be a smile given to anyone passing by or to help others, no matter how small of an act.  But I know that this all stems from my religion and faith.  And that comforts me too.  Comparing it to one’s “career” goal is nice in that it doesn’t have to be something you’re talented in or something you have to work hard to develop.  It’s just something you have to stay committed to, and the overall goodness and intent will shine through.

 

So I am not a loser, thankfully, it just looks like that from the outside….on the inside, I’m actually a secret superhero.